My Most Most Recent Images
"Horses early morning"
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"Girl and Birds"
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at "Thortons"
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"Clouds Over Bamff"
From my Canadian Trip some time back
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" Cemetary"
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"On the Streets"
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"Springfield"
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"The Tree"
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"CZ"
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"At the Met"
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Vanity of Vanities
All is Vanity
I have seen all the works that are done under the sun
And behold, All is Vanity and fixation of Spirit
In Much Wisdom
Is much Grief
And he that increaseth knowledge
Increaseth Sorrow
And Where forth I perceive
That there is nothing better
Then, that the man, rejoiceth in his own works
For that is his potion
Ecclesiastes
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Are you aware of yourself at this moment.......
If I ask, Who are you?
You will likely start by expressing yourself ...........
as a father, mother, husband, wife, son, daughter, a friend.
You are a teacher, lawyer, student, priest, a farmer, a biker, a trucker.
You have these likes and dislikes, compulsions, implulses, desires.
You like and dislike these foods, and so on........
Thin, fat, small, big, short, tall, smart, dull, pretty, ugly....etc.
Yes, one would list all these things about yourself.
These are "things" you know about yourself.
All of those things are "objects" in your awareness.
They are images, impressions, ideas and concepts you hold to (and perhaps others)and are paraded by you in your awareness.
I say to you, those objects are precisely not the inner self.
These are simply things seen and held abound by.
All of these objects are not the real inner self at all and are in fact ultimately giving a list of mistaken identities, a list of lies, a list of precisely what you are NOT.
So what or who is the inner self.
A deeply inward self is witnessing the world out there, and is witnessing all your interior thoughts as well.
This inner self sees the ego, sees the body, and sees the natural world around them.
All of this "parades" by the inner self, you assimilate, feel, see but the inner self "cannot be seen.
If you merely see anything, those are just more objects.
Again, objects are not the inner self.
So you ask...Who am I?
Or what is this inner self that cannot be seen?
Simply, "push back" into your awareness and dis-identify with any and every object you see or hear.
Dis Identify with the objects of who you think you are.
The inner self is not any one particular thought, it is not any one sensation, it is not the body, not the mind and it is not the ego...
those are merely objects of illusion you cling to.
What is looking at all those objects?
What in you, right now, is looking at all those things, looking and seeing, feeling all it's sensation, looking at the mind and it's thoughts.
WHAT is looking at all that.
Try to feel yourself....get a good sense of yourself and notice..........that self is just another object in awareness.
It's not even a real self.
So what is the "real self" that is witnessing all that?
As you push back into this inner self, you won't see it as an object.....you can't see it as an object.because it is not an object.
It is nothing you can see.
As you rest in this observing awareness,...watching mind and body and nature float by....
you might begin to notice that what you are actually feeling is.....simply a feeling of freedom,
a sense of release, a sense of not being bound to any of the objects you are calmly witnessing.
You don't see anything,...but see anything, you simply rest in this Vast Freedom.
In front of you the clouds parade by, your thoughts parade by, people parade by, bodily sensations float by....
And you are none of them.
You are the vast expanse of freedom through which all of them come and go.
You are an opening, a clearing, and Emptiness, a vast spaciousness in which all these objects come and go.
So you simply start to notice that the "inner self" in you that is witnessing all these objects is itself a Vast emptiness.
It is not a thing, a thing you can get a hold of.
It is not itself anything that enters the objective world of time and objects and stress and strain.
This pure witness is a pure emptiness in which all these things arise, stay a bit, and pass.
Those subjects and objects can be definitely seen but the WITNESS of them cannot be seen.
The Witness of them is an utter release from them, an utter Freedom not caught in their turmoil, their desires, their fears and their hopes.
Of course, we tend to identify ourselves with these objects.....and that is exactly the problem.
The bondage to this mistaken self is in identifying with unfree and limited objects, all of which can be seen, all of which sufffers, and non of which is what we are.
So when you rest in this true inner self, you are invisible.
As the pure empty sky or universe is truly invisible, you are invisible.
You cannot be seen.
No part of you can be seen, because you are not an object.
You are a pure source of awareness, and nothing that arises in that awareness.
So you abide as an awareness.
So there fore, this inner self is prior to life and death, prior to time and turmoil, and space and movement.
It was never born...it will never die.
This vast freedom is a great "Unborn"
Because it is Unborn, it will be Undying.
It was not created with the body, so therefore, will not perish with the body.
It doesn't live after your body, it lived prior to your body, always.
It doesn't go on in time forever, it is simply prior to the stream of time itself.
Space, time, objects are merely parading by.
You are the force of Witness.
That pure Emptiness, Pure Freedom, Pure Openness.
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"Cassandra"
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"Josh"
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"Core"
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"On the Highway"
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"Approaching Storm"
Florida
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"In Thought"
Sometime back......
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"Winter Chariot"
Having fun with the S500....
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" Apart "
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I wonder,,,,,,have you ever stopped to observe the wonderful glow of the western skies as the sun sets, with the sliver of the crescent moon rising delicately over the trees and mountains.....at that hour the light baths the world in a special way, reflecting everywhere from surface to surface, off the bridges, the still waters, shimmering from light to deep darkness.....and the hues of the skies turn from crimson, purple, then deep indigo blues.....and then presently, darkness unfolds it's intimacy and as it continues to darken over the western seas, the beautiful stars render their celestial light,,,,so far away.
To observe, to watch and to give your whole attention to something this beautiful, your mind must be free of all preoccupation, if one wants to truly feel the moment, must we not?
It cannot be occupied with worries, problems, speculations beyond the immediate moment.
It is only in these moments when we seek inward and outward at the moment at hand, for then our mind is at peace and quiet, and that you can truly observe and be sensitive to extraordinary beauty....and perhaps that is the central clue to our problems of freedom.
What does it mean to be free?
Is freedom the ability to do whatever that suits you, going where you like.... whenever you like, thinking what you will.
Merely to have independance, Does this mean freedom?
I think many people are independant, but very few are free.
I think to be free is to be intelligent, intelligence comes to be when we begin to understand your whole environment, be it Social, religious, parental, and traditional influences that continually compress and close in around you.
But to understand these various influences....from your workplace, corporate marketing, governments, parents, religious leaders and from our cultures we belong to, of your beliefs, gods and superstitions to which we conform to unthinkingly...........
to understand all these and to become free from them requires deep insight and......intelligence.
But..you generally give into them because inwardly we are frightened....
frightened to not having a good job, a strong position in life, we are afraid of what the priest, parents, our jobs, and professors will say...
we are afraid of not following tradition, of not doing the right things society tells us we must do.
True freedom is really a state of mind, in which there is no fear or compulsion....or an urge to be secure.
Don't we want to be safe.
Don't we want to be told what marvelous persons we are...
how lovely we look or how extraordinarily intelligent and smart we are.
Otherwise we wouldn't need to put letters after our name..right?
All of this gives us self assurance,....a sense of importance.
We all want to be famous people, and here's the thing......the moment we WANT to be something, we are no longer free.
The man or woman who sees the absurdity of all this and whose heart is therefore innocent..and therefore not moved by a desire to be somebody...such a person is free.
What is intelligence?
To find out is not to come to any conclusions.
The moment you come to a conclusion as to what intelligence is.....
You cease to be intelligent.
That is what most people do....
people in government, corporations, academic halls, temples.....
They strive and have come to conclusions.
Therefore, they have ceased to be intelligent.
The intelligent mind is one that is always learning, never concluding.
An intelligent mind is a mind that is never satisfied with explanations, with conclusions.
Intelligence is an inquisitive mind, a mind that is watching, learning and studying.
Which means that there is intelligence when there is no fear.....
Intelligence is not knowledge, even if you read all the books in the world, it would not give you intelligence.
It is something that is so very subtle,...it has no anchorage.
If one is stupid and then says I must become intelligent, the act of trying to become intelligent is a greater act of stupidity.
Have you noticed how so many people treat people they think important, a governor, professor, a CEO, President, someone of importance, with respect....
but then treat their servant, a worker, a common man on the street who has nothing to give you with no respect and often with contempt.
Then we begin to understand how stupid we are, and in the understanding of that stupidity comes the beginning of intelligence.
With intelligence comes attention.
What is attention?
A student sits in a classroom, daydreaming, looking out the window, pondering....and the teachers says Pay Attention!.....
which means ..that you are not interested in studying and the teacher compells you to pay attention...
Which of course is not attention at all.
Attention only comes when you truly love what you are doing and deeply interested in something, for then you love all there is about it...then your whole mind,
your whole being is there...in the moment.
Society is based on acquisiteness and ambition.
If we had no ambition, would we decay?
But doesn't ambition destroy the intelligent man?
Is ambition right or wrong, that's the question.
Look around, observe all the people who are ambitious...
What happens when one is ambitious...
aren't they thinking of themselves?
You may become cruel, push other people aside, think of yourself in trying to achieve and fulfill your ambitions.
There is a constant battle with you and others who also all want the same things you are ambitious for...
and is this conflict productive of intelligent creative living?
Are we ambitious when you love to do something for it's own sake.
When we do something with your whole being, not because you want something or to get somewhere, for greater profit or greatness,
But simply because you love to do it....
in that, there is no ambition.
In that, there is no competition, no struggle, no decay of the inner soul.
As long as there is the desire to gain, to achieve, to become..to whatever higher and loftier levels,
then there is inevitable anxiety, sorrow, emptiness and fear.
The ambition to be rich, to be famous creates an emptiness which can never be filled.
So how can one be free of desire.
What you really want is not freedom from desire, but freedom from the worries, anxiety, the pain which desire causes.
So we must understand the whole significance of desire if one wished to eliminate the negative byproduct of desire.
more to come..........
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"Plane"
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" Alien "
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"Veil"
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"LightPosts"
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"Bus Rider"
Sometime back NYC
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"Tyrone"
In NYC
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" Pam "
A snapshot at a party.
Antique film processing
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As the shadows lengthen
The silver light reflects
As if it was kissed by the sea
before night of ink
Light………
Rain on me
Make me yearn
To search the sky
JAlan 4/6/10
(Picture taken some time back in Newfoundland)
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If You Forget Me
I want you to know
one thing.
You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.
Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.
If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.
If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.
But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.
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In the studio today, working on a different theme using feathers and evergreens.
OMP model Erin
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